1.27.2012

Volumes Of Interest

Selections from my fireside readings this week…

Listen, Learn and Love @Motherhood Your Way – “One conversation, one argument, one disparaging look, one disgusted sigh can shatter a child’s heart.” Yes.  A must read.

Watching Them Watching Me @ The New York Times – Hauntingly sad…and equally beautiful.

Training My Princess @ I Take Joy – This?  Makes me want to be a better mom.

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Rest in the glow at the hearth of my sitting room – you’re always welcome to linger in the chambers of the Heights!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.25.2012

Sometimes, That’s All You Need To Say

When his turn rolls around, he swings his interlocked hands with each word.

Like a little pendulum, chubby hands sway from one side to the other and,

eyes crinkled nearly past discernment, he shouts

“Thank you God….AhhhhhMENNN!”

And that’s it.

Every time.

*

He makes me smile, because in his two year old dialect, he speaks deeper into the heart of the matter than most theologians;

that he is so overwhelmed by all that he can thank God for that his mind can’t keep up

and his words can’t wrap around it all.

But he’s thankful…

so he just says what’s on his heart.

*

Really, isn’t it the simplest prayer that speaks the deepest into,

and spills out of,

our wordy adult gratitude?

When we finally let go of what we think we ought to pray, isn’t a sincere soul-uttered “thank you” the most profound offering we can make?

Sometimes, with hands open, heart overwhelmed and head bowed,

thank you is really all you need to say.

~~~~~~~~~~

Linger in the chambers of the Heights – you’re always welcome here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.25.2012

When You Don’t Feel Like The Right Mom For Your Kids…

iPhone photos - the most fun way to keep this little tornado still, if only for a moment...

Do you have a child whose personality seems like an odd match for yours?

One that you feel you let down, disappoint, short-change because you can’t be enough?

Click over to the MOB society for some encouragement!

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1.22.2012

Do We Ever Grow Out Of It?

The anticipation,

the excitement?

I’m not sure that we do…

I know I haven’t, and I hope she doesn’t either!!

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Anticipate with us in the chambers of the Heights – you’re always welcome to linger here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.21.2012

Silent and Soft and Slow

“Out of the bosom of the Air, Out of the cloud-folds of her garments shaken, Over the woodlands brown and bare, Over the harvest-fields forsaken, Silent, and soft, and slow Descends the snow.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
~~~~~~~~~~
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1.20.2012

Volumes Of Interest

Selections from my fireside readings this week…

When You Feel Like It Doesn’t Matter @ (in)Courage – It really does!

Seven Ways To Keep Your Home Strong @ A Holy Experience – L.O.V.E. this.  Must implement.  NOW.

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Read at my fireside – you’re always welcome to linger here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.20.2012

A Little Bit Broken

More often than not, when people find out that I struggle daily with a significant physical challenge, their question is, “how do you do it?”

Today, I’m opening a discussion on that very topic…click over here to listen in!

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1.18.2012

Sugar & Flour

“Scones!!!!!!!”

They cheer, dancing around the kitchen as wildly as the snowflakes swirl outside the big bay window.  It’s a dark day, and when the cold bites & the snow flies, we all like to celebrate.

So I go to my cupboards, and before long, they flurry around me, watching me knead and begging to smell the cinnamon.

*

We spend so many days cringing at the cold weather, lamenting the ‘stuckness’ of being indoors, the inevitable cabin fever and the pacing that accompanies it.  When the land lies quiet and it all appears dead, a mama feels it down deep.   But even in sleep, there is so much beneath the surface, waiting in a frozen patience for the breath of spring.

And so it is with us, waiting inside.

The amazing grace of it all lies in the suspended time – these days that last for years leave every moment open for memories to be made.  For the earth to fall asleep under the downy chill of white, and for the curiosity of little ones to awaken, covering the kitchen in their own blanket of white;

scattering laughter, dropping in daydreams,

and mixing memories of sugar & flour.

*

Days like these make a Mama pray for snow.

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Linger in the chambers of the Heights – you’re always welcome here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.16.2012

If I Can Get Past Myself, I’ll Find Something Great

Muscles tense, barley breathing, I creep past their doors.  Each morning, I steal through the dark filled with dread at the prospect of the slightest creak of a floorboard.

Desperate to be alone for just a few minutes time,

I’m sneaking past my sleeping kids.

*

The first drop of coffee hits the mug and a steady thumping comes down from the stairs;

I’ve been found.

I’m caught between between irritation and guilt, and somehow muster the composure to greet her cheerfully…

and I feel like the worst mom in the world.

*

It all comes back to the slow dripping.

When every moment of every day is filled with people, snatching moments of quiet – moments to breathe -  is like a search for buried treasure….a thrilling prospect, but often an fruitless endeavor.  And as much as I love to be with my little ones,

I also *really* need time to be alone.

Not working.  Not in charge.

I want that time in the morning.  I purpose to rise before the sun, before the children, so that I may have uninterrupted time to meet with the Lord and rest. This is important, necessary, vital to the well-being of any mother {especially myself}

but I find that a slight change in attitude,

a softening of the heart and a shift away from my iron grip on that particular time slot, has brought a time to reach the heart of the one child I have trouble relating to.

She needs time with me.  And before daybreak is the time she’s chosen.  So while I desperately need time to myself, I also want nothing more than to win the hearts of my little ones – and often, that means rearranging my plans and desires to suit the time frame in which they are willing to be open to me.

A good exchange – my selfishness for her heart?

I’d say so.

{And yes, I’m still searching for some time alone.}

~~~~~~~~~~

Find quiet time to reflect in the chambers of the Heights – you’re always welcome here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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1.15.2012

Something I Would Never Have Taught Her Intentionally

With one hand on the cart, she strikes a pose and sweeps her arm with flourish.

“Let’s sing the Sweetpea song the whole time we’re here!”  She draws herself up, and inhales deeply in anticipation of the first line of her favorite song.

My eyes dart back and forth, and squirming, I stammer, “let’s wait until we’re back in the car sweetie.”  Naturally, being five years old and all, she needs to know why.  “Well…Mama doesn’t have the kind of singing voice that people appreciate.”

Her face falls and her shoulders slump.  And my stomach knots as I realize that outside of disappointing her,

I’ve begun to teach her to worry what people think.

*

*

How do I know that my singing is not appreciable in the public sphere?

People have told me so.

I’ve been rejected from opportunities to use my voice.  I’ve been told by friends that I’m sub par.  I’ve had innumerable cross looks shot in my direction by vexed older ladies in church pews.  Even my own children have begged me to stop, because “I’m not good at it.”

But I like to sing.  As one who connects deeply with music, it’s difficult to stifle my personal instrument for long.  I just let it play behind closed doors.

But now?  She is filled with joy and bursting with gusto.  She can’t keep the theatrics inside, and she invites me to join her!  Do I default to an insecurity, painted on me by the disapproval of others, or do I sing Veggie Tales songs about seeing past worldly standards of beauty in the middle of Wal Mart?

*

*

Next time I hope I can be brave enough to sing.  Brave enough to show her to live in her joy, regardless of the discouragement that may come.

I hope I can be brave enough to show her,

in that little way,

to be herself.

~~~~~~~~~~

Be yourself in the chambers of the Heights – you’re always welcome to do so here!  Or, have the latest chapters of Senseless Sensibility delivered to your inbox!

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